e-zekiel:

okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too

but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time

and then another person fell

and another

and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting

and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy

ancebaha:

Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

k-hiq:

hikaribakuras:

holyjazspers:

horton hears a huh

horton hears a what

horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady

HORTON HEARS NOTHING HORTON IS AS DEAD AS THIS JOKE

horton hears a hater

(Source: louistonsilson)

dont-fuckingpanic:

text-pistol:

wearing-sammy-to-the-prom:

princeharrehs:

princeharrehs:

omfg i just ordered pizza and as i was about to hang up i said love you out of habit and the guy said it back and after a whole minute of dead silence he just tells me that he hopes that i’m not expecting a discount on the pizza just cause we confessed our undying love for each other! oMFG!

guys! he sent me a note on one of the napkins and i just

I ship it

I ship it so hard

now kiss

themysterywhichbindsmestill:

ellen-deselfish:

goreandmutilation:

i said i was going to run away and get married but my mom said i

Thats a fricking rockmelon in Australia so this was the most confusing crap ever. “i said i was going to run away and get married but my mom said i rockmelon” 

that’s what you australians get for naming stuff weird.

(Source: bunnylick)

heartless:

im not even kidding when i say im the jealous type dont ever talk about the person i like because they are mine and i will rip your soul out